Minggu, 21 Agustus 2011

66th Indonesia's independence day but Im not sure that i already enjoy the indepence,

Independence day reminds me how alone i am. Because My dad's Rules:

1. Dad always right
2. Just in case dad is wrong, see rule number 1

Im 24 years old. I have finished my bachelor degree. Although have not a good job yet, i already get my job and i have my own money. But i has not happy yet. Am i enjoyed the indepence? I have an over protective father with his rules. He never allowed what i want. Am i happy ? No. Im not happy. I feel like a bird without wings. Always follow what he asked. If not, he will be angry. Too angry. and maybe he will kill me. DAMN, i often lie if i want hang out with my friends at nite and must go home before 12 o'clock!! Did you know when he call me and my phone ringging ? my heart beat so fast, feel like he ready for killing me softly. It's not good for my self. Im afraid with my own father.

How about my mom? oh damn, she is a great mother. She knows that her little girl in process grow up to be a woman. She knows that i am a lil bit naughty, but not a bad girl. Sure of course absolutely that i am a good girl. I never lie to her. i always permition to her if i want go out. although that i go to the club, hang out with friends at midnite, late go home, meet someone new, etc i always told her. Because i dont want make her worried. I trust that she always pray for me and she really trust that i can take care of my self. So, i will not broke her trust. I love my mom like she always me. It mean, my independence day is when my father not at home.

Dear dad, please trust me. U know that you will not see me crying because im hiding inside. My heart is in pain but i always smiling for you. Dont you want looks i am happy, do you? when will i get my freedom? please give my freedom and i swear i will keep it inside my heart. (i hope my father read it)